Thursday, July 8, 2010

This post is like a pineapple. Or a small tract of land, such as part of France.

So, it was a long weekend. A great weekend, to be sure, BUT after 5 days of awesomeness, getting back into the routine of life was something that my body and mind were rather 5-year-old about; namely, they put their foot down, crossed their arms and said 'UH UH' rather defiantly.

Part of the getting back into the routine was getting back to this blog. And, like the over-zealous person I am, the first idea I had for when I came back was pretty epic. In fact, it may just be the epic-est blog post ever. Of all. In the history of blogging.

(that might be a tad bit of a build up, I know, but then again, over-zealous might apply to my liberal use of exaggeration also)

Anyway, against my body's will, I sat down to work on this epic post. I wrote. I linked. I even added pictures (!!!) and it took me hours upon hours (3, anyway) and, halfway through, I stepped back and read what I had and I thought

"This sucks."

So I had to go back and re-work it. And then, because of the re-working, it got More Epic. It got so epic it became the Most Epic Post (MEP). Which made it have to be longer. And that brings us to last night, when I got done with work and I came home and I was like "If I don't finish this blog post like, now, no one is EVER going to read my blog again, and I'll die alone and obscure, and it doesn't matter if I write 50 gazillion more posts and they're all MEP, no one is going to care." It might have been a little less dramatic, I can't remember, I was tired and that's what it felt like.

But the pressure was paralyzing, and I ended up falling asleep trying to finish the post.

Then the morning came, and I woke up and thought "OK, time to triage. The MEP might not ever get finished. At least put up SOMETHING."

Which brings me to the pineapple. (Or the coast of France. You pick)

The pineapple, for those of you who don't know, is a symbol of hospitality. Starting with Christopher Columbus, if you saw a pineapple outside of a village or a house, it meant you were welcome there. It spread back to Europe, and became THE entertainment accessory of the fashionable class. It was essential to good dinner parties. ( the coast of France is kind of the same way- between England, France and Germany, the coastline along what is current France was given as a gift like, about 500 times in the middle ages- sometimes as a dowry, or a promise of peace, or a show of commercial cooperation. I think the post is better as a pineapple, but France sounds more Epic)

And so, I offer you this post. As a symbol to welcome you (welcome you back, for those of you who endured that 5 days without a post). It's also to whet your appetite for more posts- you see the pineapple (or post) and you think "ok, wow, seriously, this guy knows about entertaining and I am in Good Hands." It's almost an appetizer, or the springboard before the you dive into the pool.

More posts, more soon. I promise.

UPDATE: Also, as an added bonus, you get a Gold Star just for reading this. That's all you have to do. Trust me, I won't be so generous with the Gold Stars in the future, so you want to stock up on them.

5 comments:

  1. i just happen to be eating frozen pineapple for breakfast right now. does that mean i get two gold stars?

    im very much in love with reading your blog. you my friend are hilarious.

    ReplyDelete
  2. amanda, for not only a) reading my blog and b) eating pineapple, but especially for c) COMMENTING, you get TEN GOLD STARS. In fact, if gold stars were a competition, you would totally have pwn'ed everybody. The only way you could get more gold stars at this very moment is if you can get other people to read my blog. And then you'd win everything. Or at least, probably, like 50 gold stars.

    ReplyDelete
  3. now i want pineapple.
    and gold stars.
    and france.
    thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  4. brendan
    you already get gold stars for a) reading my blog and b) commenting.

    AND this post is JUST LIKE a pineapple and France, so you similarilly (metaphorically, but it's not really a metaphor, its a simile) have those too.


    so really, I don't know what you're complaining about.

    ReplyDelete
  5. UGH you can't pimp out an MEP and then make us wait for it! I NEED INSTANT GRATIFICATION.

    ReplyDelete