Christmas and Birthday (because while the dates are close, they are not the Same Thing.)

Well, ladies and gentlemen, that time of year is coming round. You know what I'm talking about. The signs are just too obvious to miss.

Halloween has come and gone. We dressed up and acted fools (actually, no more foolish than we might any other Saturday, we just did it this time with a fake scar and wand) (some of us even dressed up our animals, which, by the way, I'm TOTALLY against, except for one particular dog because he is just too cute for words). We've all eaten more candy in one week than we will for the rest of the year (with a small spike somewhere in April for Easter). Thanksgiving is right around the corner. It's getting cooler (finally down to 75- pull out the scarves and mittens!), and every retail store is aggressively pushing holiday music and marketing on us even though Christmas is still over a month and a half away.

The time has come to begin the annual and entirely futile attempt to convince people that, while having a birthday two weeks before Christmas does indeed mean they are close together, they are two entirely separate events and should be treated as such.

Let me say that again: Christmas and my birthday are two separate events.

I know they are close. I know. Had I any say in when my birthday was, I would have picked July. July birthdays get all the fun. School is out, so everybody can come to your party at the Zoo or the water park, or even in your back yard. You can have your party outside. You get all kinds of fun outside gifts like hoola hoops, roller blades, slip -n-slides. You can play silly, fun, summer music at your party- I'm thinking Beach Boys, Miley Cyrus, Will Smith. Summer birthdays are a GOOD TIME.

Contrast with a December birthday. Everyone is busy finishing up the semester, so if they can make it to your party, it's only for an hour between the final showcase for "Acting for Wee Ones" and your sister's piano recital. Plus, it's December. Water parks are out of the question, the zoo would be a touch chilly. So what are your options? The skating rink, with six thousand other aught-somethings trying to find some way to expend their energy, your house (and let's be honest, you're there EVERY DAY- clearly not the place for a party) and the Library. And your music options? Mannheim Steamroller or Bing Crosby singing "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" AKA SADDEST. SONG. EVER.

But the worst part is: presents.

Now I understand, no one (save parents, siblings and aunts) HAS to give you gifts for either your birthday or Christmas. And I know we should be thankful for any present we get (unless it's from your dog, and it's on that rug you just bought or the shower curtain that you've washed several "gifts" from before), but the truth is, the quality of one of the gifts will be signifcantly lower than the other. Because they are buying Christmas gifts for everyone (including you), they don't have the time/money/energy to spend on what they percieve to bea second Christmas gift for you. Even though, if you were born in May or August, you would be getting something awesome.

For instance:
Person 1, born in May
Birthday present from friend:



Holy Moly! A new blender!











Christmas present from same friend



STAR TREK!!!!!!!!!!!!












An awesome gifting experience.




Now, compare:
Person 2, born shortly before Christmas
Birthday present from friend:



An record player! Awesome!!











Christmas present from same friend:


Orange peel. Huh. Thanks.










Friend: I'm sorry man, I just didn't know what else to get you and plus I'm strapped for cash cuz I had to by Star Trek for my other friend and I didn't have much time because I had to get to my sister's recital.

While I understand the friend's predicament, I would challenge him to plan ahead next time.

In the end, it really isn't that big a deal. As I've gotten older, I have learned that it's less about the gifts you get and more about the time you get to spend with friends (the trick is to spend the time with friends in bars and then they buy you drinks for your birthday, which are TOTALLY acceptable presents).

I would say, however, as my final thought on the subject; friends, if you're born in a non-December month, remember that your December-born friends like birthday love and Christmas love (separately) as much as you do, so gift accordingly.