Damn-Good Day

I'm in a super good mood right now. In a matter of about 30 minutes, the day has gone from 'meh' to 'damn-good.' It almost feels like it could be on the 'best days ever' list, but I think that's just because the days recently have been sort of stressful. I'm pretty sure there are quite a few other days that have been waaaay better and (hopefully) a lot more days ahead that are gonna be even better than those. BUT this is not to diminish the damn-goodness of today.

In honor of the damn-goodness of today, I am writing letters to some of the things that have contributed to it being a damn-good day.

Dear box fan,
Quite simply, I love you. You hum along and make a nice noise that sort of sounds a little bit like if I were on an old time airplane. I find this quite comforting for some reason. In addition to your nice humming noise, you put out a very pleasant breeze. It keeps my legs nice and cool. I realize that you can't rotate or move up and down or side to side like some other, fancier fans, but that's ok. I love you just the way you are. The only thing that concerns me is when I put you on either setting '2' or '3,' you start shaking kind of violently and I think you're going to explode. The fact that the nice airplane hum becomes and angry bee-swarming sound does not make me feel any better. Consequently, I usually keep you on setting '1' because I love you, box fan, and I don't need you blowing up or making angry noises at me. Thanks for all that you do, and please don't stop anytime soon.
Love, Aaron



Dear AngelSoft toilet paper,
I've been a long time fan of yours. You're the brand I always buy. But lo, when we ran out of toilet paper, someone went and just bought some OTHER brand. And that other brand was SINGLE PLY. And that other brand didn't have any designs or softness at all. It pretty much felt kind of like office paper, only not as smooth. Yesterday, when we were at Target, I confronted someone about that purchase and we remedied things very quickly. I'm glad you're back in my life, Angel Soft.
Sincerely, Aaron



Dear Robyn,
You're pretty much one of my favorite pop musicians. Ever. Your last two albums were amazing and when I heard that Body Talk Pt 2 was coming out last week, I was pretty stoked. It showed up and I've been listening to it since last Tuesday. It's so. good. Especially recently, when I've been a little bit stressed trying to find work, it's been a positive force in my ears, particularly "In my eyes" and "Include me out." I was more than content to have it on my itunes. BUT THEN, today, someone showed up with a copy for me. And you had signed it. Omgomgomg Yes, you had actually touched the paper that I now own. And I have your CD as an actual cd, and not just music on my computer. I am pretty stoked. You rock. 5 gold stars just for being you.
Rock On (and bring the tour to Austin!)
Aaron



Glee Season 1 Volume 2,
I'm obsessed with you. Ob. Sessed. When I watched the first volume, I literally had to force myself to go to work. I even contemplated calling in sick just so I could watch more Glee. I didn't, but I sure thought long and hard about it. And I was beginning to get nervous because the new season starts NEXT WEEK. I was concerned because I want to be able to watch with everyone else, but I didn't know what else had happened in the second half of season one. You came through for me, though. You showed up a day earlier than you were supposed to. And there are 9 whole episodes of over the top goodness.
Gleek 4 life, Aaron

Some things I do Awesomely! (Things You Could Pay Me For!)

The job search is ON! As my current contract is slowly (achingly, glacially) coming to an end, I have started up the search for employment in the area I'm moving to. So far, this isn't going so well- aside from the fact that I'm not actually there yet (and won't be for another 3 weeks or so), there a little thing called The Great Recession that just happened and, oh, p.s. getting a job right now is HARD. As I'm sure you all know for yourselves, getting a job anytime requires a certain amount of extra energy. But in typical Aaron fashion, I have heaped on the possibly-unfavorable factors- new city that I've never been to that has a lot of technical jobs and also a major university that will have *just* started before I get there, all the while unemployment hovers just under 10%.

Clearly, any employer should see that I enjoy a challenge.

After quite a bit of thought, I've come up with the a few things that I feel I could be awesome at. Like, you could hire me to do them today, right now. No orientation, no training, I just show up and start doing them awesomely.

Laying on a bed.

Aside from the fact that I do this for an average of at least 8 hours every day (and more if I have the chance), I feel I'm pretty darn qualified for this job. I can lay in a variety of positions and orientations- facing either direction, on my back or stomach, I'm open. I'm pillow flexible (one pillow/two pillow/pillowless). More than just qualified, I actually like doing laying on a bed. In fact, I've only laid on a few beds that I've had problems with (and in those few select cases, there were usually bugs/small rabid animals/crazies attempting to share the bed with me). Clearly, I could earn a living laying on a bed.

Walking.

Again, I already do this quite a bit, so I'm definitely qualified. I am a rare individual who can engage in the famed 'walking and talking at the same time' sort of walking. In fact, I can can even sing while walking. I can handle stairs, different tempos, and different gaits. But it's not all work and no play- I've been known to engage in a number of silly walks from time to time. I'm especially good at walking with my iPod playing- it's definitely a performance enhancer for me. (Note: running would have to be negotiated- while I'm not opposed to it, I feel the demand of my running skills is another skill set entirely)

Facebooking.

This is where my technical prowess can really shine. Facebook allows me to stay absolutely current on the most cutting edge as far as the interwebs go. I can friend, unfriend, invite, like and comment with ease. Facebooking for a living might even be place to use my leadership skills- I tag people in notes quite frequently, as well as create events from scratch! I've also had to block a person or two- I know that it's a difficult thing to do, but with greater skills come greater responsibilities, and I feel confident that I could hit that block button if it becomes necessary.

Putting in and taking out my contacts.

As you can see, I'm so good at this, eye don't even need to make it clearer for you.






Using the microwave.

This one is definitely the area that I have the most growth potential in. I can do hot pockets and popcorn no problem. I am, however, still mastering warming up things like chili or a casserole so that the middle gets warm but the outer edges don't get too hot in the process. Nevertheless, I do have an amount of passion for microwaving- I love the droning noise it makes, and watching the little plate turn in circles is something I really enjoy. I think with a little practice, I could even cook meat in one.


So those are my skills. If you or anyone you know is looking for someone to do any of these things full time, get in touch with me. I can provide a resume and references on request. Oh, and there are definitely Gold Stars available for those who help me find work. If that's not an incentive, I don't know what is.