Dieting and Clubbing

Oh my god, you guys. Holiday season has come and gone, and I for one am depressed. Not because I'm no longer traveling at a breakneck pace. Not because the world has lost it's winter holiday charm (hello, I live in Austin- it never had winter holiday charm to begin with). Not even because the coming calendar lacks any reasons to dress in black tie (or any specific event requiring bloody marys) (and let me be honest, I didn't really dress up in black tie over the holiday season, anyway, but it's the principle of the thing).

No, the real reason for my depression is- my clothes are reeeeeeeeaaaaal snug. And not in a "that's so cute, it shows off your figure" way. More of a "probably didn't need that last margarita... or that dessert.... or pretty much anything I ate or drank from the 22nd through the 2nd" sort of way.

The holidays are always a time that proves treacherous for one's weight. There's all that food, and all that booze, and long sleeved, dark clothing does a great job hiding those couple extra pounds. And it's cold, and the food is warm, and the company is good so here, have a third helping of mashed potatoes. And that's how it starts.

That's a lie. That's not how it starts, thats the moment you know you're in too deep and there's no way out so you may as well enjoy it.

But now the frigid stark light of January 7th is here. Your weight is now the US debt, and you have to a very painful choice to make. You can completely give up on ever balancing the budget and just spend yourself into oblivion. Or you can make extremely unpopular budget cuts. Or in other words, diet.

Gulp.

The D-word. It's a mean, lowdown, shameful one, that word, but it's on a lot of our minds more often then we care to admit. Gone are the 80's and 90's, when dieting was legit. Nobody was trying to hide the fact that, you know what, we DO want to be a bit leaner than we currently are. (My whole issue with most dieting disorders is that they are done in excess. There is a difference between dieting and starving yourself) But, as our culture has become more and more aware of not only ourselves but each other, dieting has taken on a shameful mantle. 'Love yourself just as you are' is the new mantra. I'm not disagreeing with that statement- we should love ourselves just as we are. But if we (really I) have put on 20 pounds (plus or minus 5- or mostly just plus) in a matter of a month, it might not be a bad idea to scale it back a bit.

So I am. And I have to tell you, dieting is sort of like clubbing for me. I don't really like to go clubbing. I go about once every six months, and then remember why I don't like it. Often the music is repetative, finding (and keeping) the right balance between wasted and sober is hard, and either I end up getting no attention at all or... well, mostly it's that (or the unwanted attentions of someone whom I have no desire to attended by). I don't really enjoy the action(clubbing), even if I do very much enjoy a result (dancing).

It's like that with dieting. I don't really enjoy the action of it, but I do enjoy the result (again, in moderation).

(You may wonder why the six month interval- it's because right around month 5 I think something to the effect of "surely it can't be as bad as I remember, it's got to be at least a little bit fun" and lather rinse repeat)

The two have other similarites. Preparation for both dieting and clubbing can, while not ensure it, at least raise the odd of success. The execution looks a little bit different however:

Prep for clubbing:



Prep for dieting:



Music for both dieting (and as a part of a balanced diet, exercise) and clubbing sounds pretty much like Scissor Sisters, Ke$ha, -And let's just set this straight; I love Ke$ha. She's trashy, she's totally a product of her producers, and I don't care. It's got a great beat and the lyrics are super catchy. So don't hate- Robyn and a little bit of BT.

Both encourage drinking more water than you normally would.

Both require a special wardrobe (ok, this is kind of a stretch, but with the diet part, I'm thinking work out clothes).

But the biggest similarity I can think of is that both dieting and clubbing are significantly easier/more tolerable(ok, fun) to do when there's more than one of you doing it. Bars are places to go alone. I've always found it hard to go clubbing without friends, because even if no one else is paying attention to you, you can still dance or at least hang out with them. It's the same with dieting. Eating alone is pretty miserable. Eating diet food together however, while still a challenge because you'd rather be eating tacos, is doable.

And that's where the similarities end, because you have to stick with a diet for a while. If you are clubbing and you find that it isn't working, you can always just leave.