It's Friday afternoon and I'm having a Grape Slush to celebrate

Never mind that I had one yesterday, too.

OK, so to be completely honest, I don't have much reason to celebrate Fridays at the moment. Monday is my day off, so Friday is actually kind of hump day for me. And I still have 3 more nights to go until a break (and THIS week, I don't even get Monday off- I'm not bitching, I don't want this to be that post, I'm just sayin'- I digress...)

ANYWAY, for the rest of the American world, it's Friday and that means Thank You Sweet Baby Jesus time. Cel-e-brate good times, c'mon. Et cetera. There are many ways to celebrate Friday- some are small, some are not so small. I recommend all of these to you.

Maybe not all at once.

1) Grape slush from Sonic. OK, if you live someplace that there aren't Sonics, I hate to break it to you, but this just won't work out for you. You are just S.O.L. and that is a low down dirty crying shame because if grape slushes were a food, they would be on the Greatest Foods of All Time Ever list. I'm serious. These delicious ecstasy-laced beverages will brighten your Friday like few other things in this world (actually, the only other things that are equivalent are on this list). Fake Grape + shaved ice = sheer genius.

HEALTH HAZARD: You have to be careful with the Grape Slush because they are so. good. and you will want to just chug that sucker right down. However, the Grape Slush has designed a defense mechanism against that and it is called brain freeze. Brain freeze is actually not harmful, but it sure does hurt. You will feel, well, like your brain has been dipped in liquid nitrogen. If you don't know what that does, watch the end of Terminator 2. It will feel like that. All I'm sayin' is, enjoy your slush s l o w l y.

2) Trip to Spain. What better way to say "I'm done being a work-a-holic" than going to a country where the *whole country* takes a nap in the afternoon? (I've not actually been to Spain, or anywhere in Europe for that matter, but I do know like 17 words in French) It's easy- just hop a flight and head over! Eat some Tapas, see some cathedrals, play some soccer. It will be an awesome weekend!

HEALTH HAZARD: You might get stampeded by a bull. Depending on the town, or if you are in the countryside, or in a bull fighting ring, the possibility exists that you might be in danger. Precautions you can take are: avoid wearing red, don't sign up for any mixer parties in bull fighting arenas, keep your wallet in your front pocket. I'm not sure how this will help, but it sounds like sound advice.

3) Go see Inception. But don't tell me about it, because I want to see it. I hear it's so. good.

HEALTH HAZARD: Not much, just don't have a heart attack during the movie. Also, go easy on the butter on the popcorn. You don't need all those calories.

4) Put on 80's music and slide around in your socks and underwear like Tom Cruise in that movie. I mean, come on! It's FRIDAY! If that doesn't make you want to dance and sing in a state of undress, I don't know what will (Also, your life can't be a musical because it breaks one of the rules "all musicals MUST have a number in some semi-unclothed state." Think about it, and you'll know I'm right).

HEALTH HAZARD: If you aren't careful, you will crash into things as you are sliding around. Also, falling is a potential danger. Be careful! And also, it's not exactly a health hazard, but make sure that the blinds are drawn, unless you want your neighbor playing paparazzi.

5 Go out to eat. This may seem like an obvious choice, but it's obvious for a great reason. I would recommend Mexican, but anything will do. Go out, be social, be seen, eat delicious food. It's pretty simple.

HEALTH HAZARD: Chips can be pointy and cut your mouth. That's pretty much all I can think of.

French on the Internet Versus Me (Summer Music Part UN!)

Ok, so I'm gonna get to the summer music part, but first lets talk about the number '1' in french. Sometimes, I like to pretend that I know more than I actually do. And usually, this manifests in pretending i'm multilingual. And usually, it doesn't work out.

What happens is this: when I'm trying to make something that's already exciting MORE exciting (like a summer music post), I might introduce the topic in another language. (I usually pick french because I do actually know like about 17 words in french AND "but then, french is a much chicer language, EVERYone says so- parlez vous français?" you get a GOLD STAR if you can name the musical and which character says it) This is done in an attempt to send my partner in conversation/blog reader into a frothing, raving state of frenzied excitement about the information to come.

"ZOMG, I CAN'T WAIT TO RECIEVE THIS AMAZING ENLIGHTENMENT OF OBSCENELY AWESOME INFORMATION!!1!!!!11!!1! I MEAN, HE JUST ANNOUNCED IT IN FRENCH! I'M NOT EVEN SURE WHAT IT MEANS, BUT I AM ***SO*** EXCITED," I imagine them to say, and then squeal "PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE HURRY UP AND TELL ME NOW OR I MIGHT DIE!"

But this rarely occurs. (One would think I would learn, but no, no I am apparently impervious to clear and often blatant messages)

So instead of the desired raving near-worship I hoped for, I get "Il parle du français ! Comment merveilleux. 'Ces anglais n'est-il pas Seulement des haut-parleurs un raseur ?' " OR "¡Habla francés! El probablemente sabe español, también. ¡Cuán internacional! '¿No es estos inglés Sólo altavoces un aburre?' "



FML.


And then I have to explain that I don't actually speak french, I just know like 17 words and I like to toss them in when I can. (And my spanish is even more dismal, ESPECIALLY since I live in Texas and Mexico is like, across the street and all) And whoever it is feels let down, and they've forgotten to be excited about whatever it was that I was trying to get them excited about in the first place, and the whole thing has gone down the tubes.

(P.S. I totally used freetranslation.com for that phrases above, so apologies to those who CAN speak/read french/spanish and it sounds stilted or awkward)

ALL OF THAT SAID, I was going to put the title of this post in french, which, according to freetranslation.com, is 'La musique de l'été, l'un séparer,' which, for the casual un-french-speaker, would be hella confusing (I mean, I know like 17 words, so I practically speak the language, and I only recognize 'musique')

(that's a secret, by the way, of the frenzy-inducing: the reader/conversationalist you are attempting to impress has to be able to pick out at least a couple of words so they have a general idea of what you're whipping them into a frenzy about- I digress...)

So I decided to just do 'part one' in french, but that's "Summer Music, l'un séparer" which still sounds like I might be breaking up, or at least tearing things, neither of which I have any inclination towards. Ok, so final title: Summer Music, Part ... wait. 'One' in french isn't ' l'un ,' it's 'une,' right? I ask freetranslation.com:

Translate: One
From: English
To: French
>>free translating goes on<<
Translation: Un

Un, No. Good try, freetranslation.com, but you aren't going to fool me. I know like 17 whole words in french and one of them is the word for 'one' which is 'une.' Nevertheless, I try to have backing when I make a claim in a language that isn't my first, so I go looking further on the interwebs.

At wikihow.com, I type "how do I count to ten in french" and here's what comes up:

> It's easy, so give it a try now.

No duh, wikihow. As I've said, 17 words, I know french. Just tell me how to spell 'one.'

> Have patience. It might take a while to memorize all the numbers.:

I don't want to be patient, I don't need all the numbers! Just one. The first one.

> The first number is un. It is pronounced like someone has punched you in the stomach. "Uh!"

What?! No, that can't be right.


But it was. I also checked Wikipedia, but it was pretty half hearted because I knew in my heart I had been defeated. Sadly, I titled the post "Summer Music Part UN!"

and then I stared at the screen for a while, totally crushed. There may have been a single tear or so, I don't know.

Typing this has been pretty painful (I only got excited about the part in all caps, and also the french and spanish phrases poking ironic fun at myself), so unfortunately, the summer music post will probably have to wait. Je suis fatigué. (SEE! I DO KNOW SOME FRENCH- I SWEAR I KNEW THAT, AND I ONLY COPIED IT FROM FREETRANSLATION.COM BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TYPE THE 'E' WITH THE TIC MARK ABOVE IT!)