Dieting and Clubbing

Oh my god, you guys. Holiday season has come and gone, and I for one am depressed. Not because I'm no longer traveling at a breakneck pace. Not because the world has lost it's winter holiday charm (hello, I live in Austin- it never had winter holiday charm to begin with). Not even because the coming calendar lacks any reasons to dress in black tie (or any specific event requiring bloody marys) (and let me be honest, I didn't really dress up in black tie over the holiday season, anyway, but it's the principle of the thing).

No, the real reason for my depression is- my clothes are reeeeeeeeaaaaal snug. And not in a "that's so cute, it shows off your figure" way. More of a "probably didn't need that last margarita... or that dessert.... or pretty much anything I ate or drank from the 22nd through the 2nd" sort of way.

The holidays are always a time that proves treacherous for one's weight. There's all that food, and all that booze, and long sleeved, dark clothing does a great job hiding those couple extra pounds. And it's cold, and the food is warm, and the company is good so here, have a third helping of mashed potatoes. And that's how it starts.

That's a lie. That's not how it starts, thats the moment you know you're in too deep and there's no way out so you may as well enjoy it.

But now the frigid stark light of January 7th is here. Your weight is now the US debt, and you have to a very painful choice to make. You can completely give up on ever balancing the budget and just spend yourself into oblivion. Or you can make extremely unpopular budget cuts. Or in other words, diet.

Gulp.

The D-word. It's a mean, lowdown, shameful one, that word, but it's on a lot of our minds more often then we care to admit. Gone are the 80's and 90's, when dieting was legit. Nobody was trying to hide the fact that, you know what, we DO want to be a bit leaner than we currently are. (My whole issue with most dieting disorders is that they are done in excess. There is a difference between dieting and starving yourself) But, as our culture has become more and more aware of not only ourselves but each other, dieting has taken on a shameful mantle. 'Love yourself just as you are' is the new mantra. I'm not disagreeing with that statement- we should love ourselves just as we are. But if we (really I) have put on 20 pounds (plus or minus 5- or mostly just plus) in a matter of a month, it might not be a bad idea to scale it back a bit.

So I am. And I have to tell you, dieting is sort of like clubbing for me. I don't really like to go clubbing. I go about once every six months, and then remember why I don't like it. Often the music is repetative, finding (and keeping) the right balance between wasted and sober is hard, and either I end up getting no attention at all or... well, mostly it's that (or the unwanted attentions of someone whom I have no desire to attended by). I don't really enjoy the action(clubbing), even if I do very much enjoy a result (dancing).

It's like that with dieting. I don't really enjoy the action of it, but I do enjoy the result (again, in moderation).

(You may wonder why the six month interval- it's because right around month 5 I think something to the effect of "surely it can't be as bad as I remember, it's got to be at least a little bit fun" and lather rinse repeat)

The two have other similarites. Preparation for both dieting and clubbing can, while not ensure it, at least raise the odd of success. The execution looks a little bit different however:

Prep for clubbing:



Prep for dieting:



Music for both dieting (and as a part of a balanced diet, exercise) and clubbing sounds pretty much like Scissor Sisters, Ke$ha, -And let's just set this straight; I love Ke$ha. She's trashy, she's totally a product of her producers, and I don't care. It's got a great beat and the lyrics are super catchy. So don't hate- Robyn and a little bit of BT.

Both encourage drinking more water than you normally would.

Both require a special wardrobe (ok, this is kind of a stretch, but with the diet part, I'm thinking work out clothes).

But the biggest similarity I can think of is that both dieting and clubbing are significantly easier/more tolerable(ok, fun) to do when there's more than one of you doing it. Bars are places to go alone. I've always found it hard to go clubbing without friends, because even if no one else is paying attention to you, you can still dance or at least hang out with them. It's the same with dieting. Eating alone is pretty miserable. Eating diet food together however, while still a challenge because you'd rather be eating tacos, is doable.

And that's where the similarities end, because you have to stick with a diet for a while. If you are clubbing and you find that it isn't working, you can always just leave.

On Traveling- Holiday '10 PART TROIS!

Here, at last (at long, long, 3-major-cities-in-as-many-weeks long last) is the final installment of the "On Traveling- Holiday '10" series (in case you are just joining us, you might want to check out the first two- on being in a hotel and Things you Must Pack). (Also, please notice that I knew how to and did spell "trois" correctly, and thus I do know how to spell in french)

I must admit, however, this final installment has actually morphed quite a bit from it's original topic. Originally, I was going to talk about relatives- and to be honest, I still feel that relatives and the ettiquette surrounding them and how to manage/navigate amongst their broods and dwelling-spaces will make an excellent post (holiday '11????), but as I was holiday-ing, something even more important made itself painfully relevant (no, seriously, I actually felt pretty awful learning this lesson- not like 'get out of the way, Aunt Margie, I'm going to up-chuck' bad, but like 'my insides are making a sad panda face really really hard' bad).

So what, you ask, is the topic? The topic is:


'Time Management'

with a subheading of 'How I almost over-scheduled myself into trouble.'

The holidays are a time of joy and cheer and catching up with old friends. When traveling, there is hardly a more delightful experience than catching up with a dear old friend over a drink, or drinks, or dinner and drinks. You find out about their life, you get to talk about yours (and, of course, highlight the Awesome things that have happened to you since last you saw each other- don't worry, they are doing it, too) and share in giddy reminiscences of ye olden days past.

Now, as with an ever-lengthening list of things, it is of the upmost importance to remember that moderation is key. Let me say that again, as it's own paragraph for emphasis:

Moderation is key.

Now to put this in context, a bit of background: All of the traveling I did this holiday season was with The Date. He is (among many of his charming features) an excellent traveller, and more importantly, incredibly game when it comes to meeting my many friends and family members. As we were planning our holiday schedule, I asked him "The Date, is it ok if we meet up with a few of my friends while we are in ________(fill in city of choice)?" and he would say "Of course! Let's do it." and then I would get super excited about seeing said friends and even more excited for said friends to meet The Date, because, let's face it, he's Awesome and if someone is a friend of mine, they have to be Awesome too, so it will be like a whole mini-Awesome convention, what with all that Awesomeness in one place.

And it was so. We met up with quite a few of my Awesome friends. And The Date seemed to be enjoying himself. But appearances can be decieving, and at a certain point, The Date pulled me aside and reminded me that, while a short trip down memory lane was fine and to be expected, a long, multi-city voyage by horse-drawn carriage and/or on foot was not exactly a trip he would book. What could he contribute? He was feeling (entirely rightly) a touch left out.

(I would like to stress at this point that any persons who may have met The Date this holiday season should not be alarmed or concerned. He says he enjoyed everyone that he met.)

I was stunned. I was flabbergasted. How could I have been so blind? So insensitive? So Rude? Needless to say, I was appalled at my own behavior.

There is a theory that some of you (hell, all of you, being the readers of Intelligence and Taste that you are) may have heard of and it is called the Pendulum Theory. It states that if a certain cultural attitude/idea/what-have-you swings too far in one particular direction, it will inevitably swing back the other direction and counter the original attitude/idea/etc. I believe in the Pendulum Theory. Not only do I believe it, but I happen to be a fantastic case study in it. And when The Date let me know that he didn't find my 2-hour conversation about previous employments simply and exhaustively fascinating, well bet your ass, I pendulumed back.

Now, as we all know, the Pendulum Theory isn't actually that teriffic in practice. You get lots of extremes, but not much in the Center (where Moderation lives his lovely little well-balanced life). Anyone who follows politics surely knows the insanity of wildly swinging from Far Left to Far Right (or as I like to call it, the goings-on of the US Senate). And thus it was with me. Trying to correct my most egregious faux pas, I then became excessively concerned with The Date's level of enjoyment of a given activity, checking every five minutes or so that he was having a good time- and thereby irritating him by checking in constantly.

In summation, my lack of moderation lead to hot mess of insecurity for me. Had I practiced a bit more Time Management, however, and limited some of the events to shorter intervals (and my own conversation about other non-present old friends), the whole mess could have been avoided.

The Things You Must Always Pack, No Matter What

Well, dear readers, I hope you had a warm and happy Thanksgiving. And if you don't celebrate Thanksgiving, then I hope at least one meal since you last stopped by Black Tie and Bloody Marys was particularly big and delicious. And if you don't eat, I'm sorry but I can't help you and why the hell are you reading a blog about Black Ties and Bloody Marys which is actually really about Mexican Food?

In any event, the last post touched on some important thoughts about traveling. But as I got to thinking about it further, there are a few other holiday traveling tips that need to be mentioned- and today we are going to talk about What To Pack (The third installment in the "On Traveling- Holiday '10" series will be about-- wait a minute, why should I tell you? Then you might not read it. You, being clearly of above average intelligence, will think 'OOHHH, it's about that' and then you'll try to predict what I'm going to say, and some of you might actually predict right, and then it won't be nearly as funny. So no, I'm not telling. Suffice to say, there will be a third installment, so you'll definitely want to come back to read it).

Where to begin? I have a lot of things to say about what and how to pack. There are many theories about the best way to do it- Pack for comfort, Pack for style, Pack for every possibility. And I agree with them all. The trick is balancing all of the different ideas- because even if you have a LOT of matching luggage, if you try to do all the different theories, well, you're gonna need more matching luggage. Also, there are a few things that, regardless of your packing philosophy, have to be ruled out simply due to size- down comforters (comfort), exotic headdresses (style), faux Christmas trees and over sized yard gnomes (every possibility).

BUT, MY DEAR READERS, DO NOT FRET. I will guide the way. While I can't pick out your outfits and pack them for you, I can give you a few indispensable pointers which will steer you in the Right Direction.

(A word: these tips are about specifics. I'm not going to tell you to pack clothes, because, HELLO, you Have to pack clothes. And because I know you are all above-average intelligent, I'm fairly sure you know how to pick out your ensembles.)

So here is it is: The Things You Must Always Pack, No Matter What

- Nail clippers. I swear to god, if I had a nickel for every trip I've taken that I've rued myself for not having these babies, I'd be able to afford like 6 new pieces of luggage. Or a small dog. But seriously, you will *Always* need nail clippers. It doesn't matter if you cut them on the way to the airport, your nails know that you are going on a trip, and they will grow extra fast to spite you. They may also decide to snag on something so you have a hangnail that looks sort of like a shark tooth on your left middle finger and it catches on everything. The bonus of nail clippers is that if you need something sharp to cut tags off of new clothing you buy while on the trip, you can use them, thereby keeping scissors off the Must Always Pack list.

- Tweezers. These are really important. I can't exactly remember why right now, but this just illustrates my point. When you aren't traveling, you think "why on earth would I need to bring tweezers? I got my eyebrows done yesterday," that there would be no reason whatsoever to bring said object. But once you're on the trip, you find you desperately need that object. (And in the case of both tweezers and nail clippers, they're so cheap, I feel so ridiculous buying Another one, when I have it at home and if I would just remember to pack them, I wouldn't need to do that embarrassing thing). Moral of the Story: Pack your tweezers.

- A sturdy but inexpensive deck of cards. This is one thing people do generally think of as a travel staple, but not always for the right reasons. Of course it provides something for you to do when you are waiting in the airport, or while waiting for a large and delicious meal to digest, or for some other reason you are waiting. Or just even for general amusement. The non-obvious reasons you Must Pack sturdy but inexpensive playing cards are almost too many to name: you can use them to level out the Rocking Table (something that is perhaps one of the most excruciating annoyances I can think of), you can use them as coasters, you can use the number cards as a means of communicating prices with people who do not speak the same language as you. And those are just a few of their many functions. I would like to point out that you definitely want to make sure these are not your Lucky cards or Special cards, as they are going to get down and dirty, odds are, which is why inexpensive is important, should you need to replace them (removing them from under a table leg can lead to faster wear and tear, studies show).

- An extra piece of luggage. I know what you're thinking. 'Seriously Aaron? I already have like 5 bags and a dog carrier- do I really need another bag?'

And the answer is YES.

And here is why: everything you pack expands while you're traveling. So in addition to anything you buy during your trip, you have to deal with the fact that everything that fit in your suitcase on the way to where ever you are going is now just a little too much stuff to fit in the same bag it came in. It's a Rule. Sorry. So bring another bag. (You can cheat and just use a shopping bag from a store you bought stuff from on the trip, but any discriminating traveller would have a legit, matching bag.)

NOTE: These last two are tricky because they are liquid, but when something is on the Must Pack List, you do what it takes.

- Bottled water. Aside from the fact that we're 75% water and dehydration can kill you, bottled water is so obviously indispensable I almost didn't put it on the list. Things bottled water provides for you: thirst quenchment (is 'quenchment' even a word?); in some cases, a stylish (and trendy!) accessory; a projectile to throw at crazies if they are attacking you; a weapon against Hangover; something to splash on yourself if you need an emergency excuse to escape an awkward situation. The list goes on. Suffice to say, once you're passed the TSA checkpoint, invest in some.

- Wine. This is another obvious one. You will need wine- possibly because you're looking forward to the people you're seeing ('Dear old friend! Let's have a drink!'), possibly because you don't know the person you're seeing ('Hi. We've never met. I brought you a drink!'), or possibly because you do know and aren't looking forward to the people you're seeing ('Oh hi, Aunt Margie. I need a drink.'). It's sort of a universal uniter and soother. So if you're flying, pick up a bottle in Duty Free, or as soon as you get where you're going. You can also use it to cleanse a wound, should you find yourself caught in the middle of a crossfire of drug gangs (if you have bottled water like you should, use the wine first).

So that is the list of Things To Pack, No Matter What. It's a pretty short list. I know you were expecting a longer and more extravagant list including things like cast recordings, small dogs, complete hair and skin care regiments, and the Complete Works of William Shakespeare, but those are all on the list of Things I Recommend You Pack, But Understand If You Don't. I think you'll agree that everything on the Must Always Pack list is an Absolute Necessity. And I'd be willing to bet that even if you don't think so now, I know you will the next time you travel.

Hotels

So, the holiday season is approaching (as was stated in my last post which I got quite a bit of feedback on, and my dear readers, THANK YOU for your responses- you know who you are, and I have a Gold Star for each of you). And holidays mean lots of traveling in lots of people's plans. And I thought it might be a worthwhile to spend a minute on hotels.

Now, before we go any further, you should know that I love hotels. Hotels are an excuse for me to be indulgent. If I'm staying at a hotel, I take looooong showers. Instead of putting my dirty clothes in a neat little pile, I throw them where ever I damn well please. I keep the room a nice frosty 66 degrees so that I can snuggle under the covers of the much-newer-than-my-own mattress. (Actually, now that I think about it, my showers at home are pretty lengthy and my clothes pretty much are everywhere anyway, so I guess I'm indulgent most of the time :-/)

When hoteling, I pretty much pretend that I'm an Important Person. And if you haven't ever tried this, I strongly suggest you do. Because when you're staying at a hotel, nobody but the desk person who checks you in knows your name. For all those other hotel-dwellers know, you could be famous from a video you put up on Youtube. You could be famous from somewhere in Europe. And unless you make it obvious that you clearly are not Somebody famous from Somewhere, nobody will know otherwise.

Some tips for looking like an Important Person:

-Wear sunglasses. They can be real-expensive or fake-expensive, but you must have them. As soon as you hide your eyes, people will begin to wonder who you are and why you can't just make eye contact like other Normal People. And then they will start to wonder "Didn't I see that guy on a youtube video?"

-Have matching luggage. And have a lot of it. Preferably all black, or, if you must, in that brown and tan Louis Vutton print that I am *SO* over. And they don't have to actually match 100%, just enough so that when somebody is trying to seriously-but-not-obviously scope on you and your stuff, they think it's all the same. Bags with extraneous and whimsical functions will definitely help- hatboxes, dog carriers, coolers are all great ideas.

-Travel with a small dog. Life on the road for an Important Person is tough, and it can get lonely. A small dog solves that problem. Lucky for you, since you are just trying to look like an Important Person, you get twice the benefits! You get the company of a small dog of your choosing and you now have a reason to purchase and carry a bag (that matches your other luggage) that you can carry said dog around in. People will definitely want to know who you are if you have a small dog in a bag, but they'll be intimidated by your sunglasses and matching luggage, and they will DEFINITELY think you are an Important Person.

Now, I should clarify- whether or not you are Important Person-ing, there are some rules that ALL hotel-ers should follow.

If you insist on being the idiot that travels with a dog, make sure your dog will be quiet. Please. Please, for the love of God and the sweet baby Jesus and in the name of everything good and holy in this world, do not be That Guy with the dog that won't shut up. Especially small dogs. It's a Rule that small, yippy dogs have vocal chord strength that is inversely proportional to their size. So the smaller the dog, the stronger the chords. I've been in hotels where I can hear a dog barking for 20 hours straight. This is cruel and unusual and at that point, I think it's for the good of society that I might just kill that dog.

Don't leave the tongs for the sausage links IN the sausage links warmer. I feel like this is a no-brainer, but apparently, some people don't have brains. If you are getting sausage links or scrambled eggs or fig compote for your miniature apple bread pudding, put the spoon or tongs back on the plate they belong on. If you leave them in the dish, they get hot/sticky/gross, and then my continental breakfast is spoiled because of your carelessness.

Don't be fooled- room service is expensive shit. I know you know this. Half the hotels I stay in don't even have room service. But when I see it, I always get excited. Room service is for people who are so Important that they either a) don't have the time to rush out to get dinner, b) are too worn from the journey to do that or c) have to take the crazed-fan possibility into consideration. In any event, room service means Glamour. And lo, you too can have that Glamour.

For a price.

You can have the Glamour of being in your boxers and wife beater and having someone deliver a havarti and mushroom burger to your very own room for only $12.95. "A havarti and mushroom burger? To my room?!?!? And for only- HOLY CRAP THIRTEEN FREAKING DOLLARS FOR A BURGER?!??!?" Yes, 13 bucks. And thats not including the tax, 25% service charge, and tip. So in the end, you get a good $10 burger for $20. Yikes.


I guess the major point I want to make is, staying in a hotel is kind of a Big Deal. So if you are fortunate enough to stay in one this season, take your responsibility seriously. You don't have to be an Important Person (or even pretend that you are one), but you ARE staying in a hotel. And if there's one thing you remember, let this be it- KEEP YOUR DOG QUIET.

Christmas and Birthday (because while the dates are close, they are not the Same Thing.)

Well, ladies and gentlemen, that time of year is coming round. You know what I'm talking about. The signs are just too obvious to miss.

Halloween has come and gone. We dressed up and acted fools (actually, no more foolish than we might any other Saturday, we just did it this time with a fake scar and wand) (some of us even dressed up our animals, which, by the way, I'm TOTALLY against, except for one particular dog because he is just too cute for words). We've all eaten more candy in one week than we will for the rest of the year (with a small spike somewhere in April for Easter). Thanksgiving is right around the corner. It's getting cooler (finally down to 75- pull out the scarves and mittens!), and every retail store is aggressively pushing holiday music and marketing on us even though Christmas is still over a month and a half away.

The time has come to begin the annual and entirely futile attempt to convince people that, while having a birthday two weeks before Christmas does indeed mean they are close together, they are two entirely separate events and should be treated as such.

Let me say that again: Christmas and my birthday are two separate events.

I know they are close. I know. Had I any say in when my birthday was, I would have picked July. July birthdays get all the fun. School is out, so everybody can come to your party at the Zoo or the water park, or even in your back yard. You can have your party outside. You get all kinds of fun outside gifts like hoola hoops, roller blades, slip -n-slides. You can play silly, fun, summer music at your party- I'm thinking Beach Boys, Miley Cyrus, Will Smith. Summer birthdays are a GOOD TIME.

Contrast with a December birthday. Everyone is busy finishing up the semester, so if they can make it to your party, it's only for an hour between the final showcase for "Acting for Wee Ones" and your sister's piano recital. Plus, it's December. Water parks are out of the question, the zoo would be a touch chilly. So what are your options? The skating rink, with six thousand other aught-somethings trying to find some way to expend their energy, your house (and let's be honest, you're there EVERY DAY- clearly not the place for a party) and the Library. And your music options? Mannheim Steamroller or Bing Crosby singing "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" AKA SADDEST. SONG. EVER.

But the worst part is: presents.

Now I understand, no one (save parents, siblings and aunts) HAS to give you gifts for either your birthday or Christmas. And I know we should be thankful for any present we get (unless it's from your dog, and it's on that rug you just bought or the shower curtain that you've washed several "gifts" from before), but the truth is, the quality of one of the gifts will be signifcantly lower than the other. Because they are buying Christmas gifts for everyone (including you), they don't have the time/money/energy to spend on what they percieve to bea second Christmas gift for you. Even though, if you were born in May or August, you would be getting something awesome.

For instance:
Person 1, born in May
Birthday present from friend:



Holy Moly! A new blender!











Christmas present from same friend



STAR TREK!!!!!!!!!!!!












An awesome gifting experience.




Now, compare:
Person 2, born shortly before Christmas
Birthday present from friend:



An record player! Awesome!!











Christmas present from same friend:


Orange peel. Huh. Thanks.










Friend: I'm sorry man, I just didn't know what else to get you and plus I'm strapped for cash cuz I had to by Star Trek for my other friend and I didn't have much time because I had to get to my sister's recital.

While I understand the friend's predicament, I would challenge him to plan ahead next time.

In the end, it really isn't that big a deal. As I've gotten older, I have learned that it's less about the gifts you get and more about the time you get to spend with friends (the trick is to spend the time with friends in bars and then they buy you drinks for your birthday, which are TOTALLY acceptable presents).

I would say, however, as my final thought on the subject; friends, if you're born in a non-December month, remember that your December-born friends like birthday love and Christmas love (separately) as much as you do, so gift accordingly.

Mondays: GET 'ER DONE!

So there's that song Manic Monday, and I have to say, I just don't understand it. A sort of sad, droopy sounding music plays and the Bangles lament that it's "just another manic Monday" and how they wish it was Sunday because it's a "funday." I hear that song and it just depresses me. It sounds like the saddest parts of the 80s all rolled into one- crimped hair, boots and shorts, elastic waisted jeans- but then add rain and bad traffic. So essentially, what I imagine Portland to be. And what's more, there's a lot of passive aggressive anger at Monday in that song, which I don't think is healthy at all.

I think we need to have a re-examination of our relationship with Monday. We need to understand what Monday is- it's weaknesses and it's strengths. You could look at Monday as the end of the weekend, OR you could look at it as the start of a brand new week. You can't have a great week on Saturday only. You have to start on Monday.

Also, a lot of commerce is reduced or stopped completely on Sunday. Awesome job standing in the way of economic recovery, Sunday. Monday gets things up and going again. Mondays are the stimulus of weekdays- unpopular, but necessary. History will remember the good you've done, Monday.

And while we're on the topic of the day the precedes Monday, I know that it has it's strengths (brunch is pretty much one of the most awesomest things ever in the history of all time), but it's not all mimosas and lounging. Anybody who has ever had to finish an arts and craft project over the weekend and run out of blue pipe cleaners at 6 pm on Sunday evening knows how sweet it is that closing time at Hobby Lobby on Monday is 8 o'clock and not 6. And any day that Chik-fil-a isn't open definitely has some explaining to do.

But before this turns into a rant against the other weekdays, let's focus on the day at hand: Monday. It's the newness of it, the possibility of success that give Monday it's value. The week you win the lottery starts with a Monday. So does the week when somebody proposes to you. If we stopped looking at Monday as a douchebag for ruining the weekend (and while I love weekending as much as anybody else, lest we forget, most things are best in moderation- and weekends would grow intolerable if there weren't something to make them special), we could appreciate Monday- because, quite frankly, Monday is a kick-off party for a full week of getting things done.

If you have a list of things to do, Monday is your man. Monday says 'give me your list' and then it allows you to totaly pwn it. If you work with Monday, and not against it, you will be happier, more accomplished, and the weekends will be that much more awesome.

So Manic Monday? I don't think so. I've decided that the NEW Monday song is Beyonce's Upgrade U. She says that "this won't be easy" but "trust me, you need me." And if you trust her, you can "build up your accounts." That means get rich. You need Monday to get rich. Six star suites, Hermes briefcases, Cartier tie clips- hello?!? I mean, I don't even wear tie clips, but it's the principle of the thing. Plus it's sung by Beyonce AND Jay-Z makes a cameo. I don't know about you, but my day is made a little bit more spectacular by the presence of those two. And if you could pick, who wouldn't want a spectacular Monday?

Has it Really been a Month?!??!

I mean, really?

I can't believe it's been an entire month. Not a couple of weeks. Not even almost a month. A whole, start-to-finish, pay-the-bills-on-the-first-and-the-fifteenth kind of month.

That's so much time! A month is 1/12th of the year. 30 whole, gigantic, enormous days. And if I'm not mistaken, somewhere around that many nights.

This is a little ridiculous, I must admit, even for me.

But now that I think about it, I've been busy with one or two things. In fact, I've been busy with quite a few things. I dare say that I might have had 30 major events happen during this month, which totally excuses my lack of blogging. At least 30. Probably closer to 87 or so.

And just to prove it, I'm going to list them.

-I got a job. (HUZZAH!) (the most important thing that happened, also the thing that has taken up the majority of my time- if anyone has a recommendation of a job that pays well that I can do in about 20 minutes, email me please and thank you)
-I joined a gym. (which, due to my job, I use very infrequently, but I still did it.)
-I drove a white, 15 passenger van from Brownsville to Austin in 4.5 hours to make it to a Gorillaz concert. ( this is usually a 5+ hour trip, and some might marvel at my time. It may have been whispered that I drive dangerously- I would argue that I drive safely, but with a sense of urgency.)
-I saw Gorillaz (pretty awesome, I just wish I knew the music better beforehand so I could have sang along)
-I have become obsessed with Star Trek.
-I may or may not have found a Star Trek encyclopedia on the interwebs to find out about all the stuff I don't yet know about the history/races featured in the story ( for instance, I may have read all about the Earth-Romulan War, the Delta quadrant, and a handful of other subjects. Maybe.)
-I made a number of new friends (among them, Andrea, Hannah, Whitney, Angela, and Evan). They're pretty spectacular.
-I voted.
-I bought (and drank) wine that I am embarrassed to admit to having bought and drank.
-I picked out some delicious red wine that I'm thrilled and proud of myself for having picked out.
-I watched Princess and the Frog at least 6 times.
-I watched "Goin' down the Bayou" and "Dig a Little Deeper" from Princess and the Frog an additional 43 or so times.
-I managed to convince Jeffrey that I am trustworthy, and he now lets me pet him. I'm in love.
-I discovered (along with the date) the spectacular 24Diner in Austin. Highly recommended.
-I started a third twitter account. (They are: aaroncglover, tipsyginger, and travelingginger, from oldest to newest, respectively. Follow 'em all!)
-I saw the border fence.
-Did I mention I'm obsessed with Star Trek? Because I am.
-I forgot to get my jacket for three separate trips. (I'm pretty embarrassed about that)
-I tried to gift some music on iTunes, but it wouldn't work, and I was pretty pissed about it. (bastards)
-I apparently have somehow caused my face to return to it's early adolescent stage and have had at least one mountain sized zit somewhere on my face at all times for the past 3 weeks. Not. A. Fan.
-I watched Little Shop of Horrors projected on a hotel wall.
-I went to a book fair and didn't look at any of the books, but had a fabulous time.
>>>>>>>>Ok, I would just like to point out that coming up with 30 entirely separate things that happened to me over 30 days is HARD. I am giving myself a Gold Star for effort<<<<<<
-I am *almost* caught up on Glee.
-I drank a beer while I waited to get my hair cut.
-Star Trek Star Trek Star Trek!!!
-I bought my sister's Christmas present.
-I took the dogs to a kennel.
-I wore a 7 foot tall duck costume.
-I got a pumpkin shake at the snazziest Braum's I've ever seen or been in.

BAM!