On Traveling- Holiday '10 PART TROIS!

Here, at last (at long, long, 3-major-cities-in-as-many-weeks long last) is the final installment of the "On Traveling- Holiday '10" series (in case you are just joining us, you might want to check out the first two- on being in a hotel and Things you Must Pack). (Also, please notice that I knew how to and did spell "trois" correctly, and thus I do know how to spell in french)

I must admit, however, this final installment has actually morphed quite a bit from it's original topic. Originally, I was going to talk about relatives- and to be honest, I still feel that relatives and the ettiquette surrounding them and how to manage/navigate amongst their broods and dwelling-spaces will make an excellent post (holiday '11????), but as I was holiday-ing, something even more important made itself painfully relevant (no, seriously, I actually felt pretty awful learning this lesson- not like 'get out of the way, Aunt Margie, I'm going to up-chuck' bad, but like 'my insides are making a sad panda face really really hard' bad).

So what, you ask, is the topic? The topic is:


'Time Management'

with a subheading of 'How I almost over-scheduled myself into trouble.'

The holidays are a time of joy and cheer and catching up with old friends. When traveling, there is hardly a more delightful experience than catching up with a dear old friend over a drink, or drinks, or dinner and drinks. You find out about their life, you get to talk about yours (and, of course, highlight the Awesome things that have happened to you since last you saw each other- don't worry, they are doing it, too) and share in giddy reminiscences of ye olden days past.

Now, as with an ever-lengthening list of things, it is of the upmost importance to remember that moderation is key. Let me say that again, as it's own paragraph for emphasis:

Moderation is key.

Now to put this in context, a bit of background: All of the traveling I did this holiday season was with The Date. He is (among many of his charming features) an excellent traveller, and more importantly, incredibly game when it comes to meeting my many friends and family members. As we were planning our holiday schedule, I asked him "The Date, is it ok if we meet up with a few of my friends while we are in ________(fill in city of choice)?" and he would say "Of course! Let's do it." and then I would get super excited about seeing said friends and even more excited for said friends to meet The Date, because, let's face it, he's Awesome and if someone is a friend of mine, they have to be Awesome too, so it will be like a whole mini-Awesome convention, what with all that Awesomeness in one place.

And it was so. We met up with quite a few of my Awesome friends. And The Date seemed to be enjoying himself. But appearances can be decieving, and at a certain point, The Date pulled me aside and reminded me that, while a short trip down memory lane was fine and to be expected, a long, multi-city voyage by horse-drawn carriage and/or on foot was not exactly a trip he would book. What could he contribute? He was feeling (entirely rightly) a touch left out.

(I would like to stress at this point that any persons who may have met The Date this holiday season should not be alarmed or concerned. He says he enjoyed everyone that he met.)

I was stunned. I was flabbergasted. How could I have been so blind? So insensitive? So Rude? Needless to say, I was appalled at my own behavior.

There is a theory that some of you (hell, all of you, being the readers of Intelligence and Taste that you are) may have heard of and it is called the Pendulum Theory. It states that if a certain cultural attitude/idea/what-have-you swings too far in one particular direction, it will inevitably swing back the other direction and counter the original attitude/idea/etc. I believe in the Pendulum Theory. Not only do I believe it, but I happen to be a fantastic case study in it. And when The Date let me know that he didn't find my 2-hour conversation about previous employments simply and exhaustively fascinating, well bet your ass, I pendulumed back.

Now, as we all know, the Pendulum Theory isn't actually that teriffic in practice. You get lots of extremes, but not much in the Center (where Moderation lives his lovely little well-balanced life). Anyone who follows politics surely knows the insanity of wildly swinging from Far Left to Far Right (or as I like to call it, the goings-on of the US Senate). And thus it was with me. Trying to correct my most egregious faux pas, I then became excessively concerned with The Date's level of enjoyment of a given activity, checking every five minutes or so that he was having a good time- and thereby irritating him by checking in constantly.

In summation, my lack of moderation lead to hot mess of insecurity for me. Had I practiced a bit more Time Management, however, and limited some of the events to shorter intervals (and my own conversation about other non-present old friends), the whole mess could have been avoided.

Christmas and Birthday (because while the dates are close, they are not the Same Thing.)

Well, ladies and gentlemen, that time of year is coming round. You know what I'm talking about. The signs are just too obvious to miss.

Halloween has come and gone. We dressed up and acted fools (actually, no more foolish than we might any other Saturday, we just did it this time with a fake scar and wand) (some of us even dressed up our animals, which, by the way, I'm TOTALLY against, except for one particular dog because he is just too cute for words). We've all eaten more candy in one week than we will for the rest of the year (with a small spike somewhere in April for Easter). Thanksgiving is right around the corner. It's getting cooler (finally down to 75- pull out the scarves and mittens!), and every retail store is aggressively pushing holiday music and marketing on us even though Christmas is still over a month and a half away.

The time has come to begin the annual and entirely futile attempt to convince people that, while having a birthday two weeks before Christmas does indeed mean they are close together, they are two entirely separate events and should be treated as such.

Let me say that again: Christmas and my birthday are two separate events.

I know they are close. I know. Had I any say in when my birthday was, I would have picked July. July birthdays get all the fun. School is out, so everybody can come to your party at the Zoo or the water park, or even in your back yard. You can have your party outside. You get all kinds of fun outside gifts like hoola hoops, roller blades, slip -n-slides. You can play silly, fun, summer music at your party- I'm thinking Beach Boys, Miley Cyrus, Will Smith. Summer birthdays are a GOOD TIME.

Contrast with a December birthday. Everyone is busy finishing up the semester, so if they can make it to your party, it's only for an hour between the final showcase for "Acting for Wee Ones" and your sister's piano recital. Plus, it's December. Water parks are out of the question, the zoo would be a touch chilly. So what are your options? The skating rink, with six thousand other aught-somethings trying to find some way to expend their energy, your house (and let's be honest, you're there EVERY DAY- clearly not the place for a party) and the Library. And your music options? Mannheim Steamroller or Bing Crosby singing "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" AKA SADDEST. SONG. EVER.

But the worst part is: presents.

Now I understand, no one (save parents, siblings and aunts) HAS to give you gifts for either your birthday or Christmas. And I know we should be thankful for any present we get (unless it's from your dog, and it's on that rug you just bought or the shower curtain that you've washed several "gifts" from before), but the truth is, the quality of one of the gifts will be signifcantly lower than the other. Because they are buying Christmas gifts for everyone (including you), they don't have the time/money/energy to spend on what they percieve to bea second Christmas gift for you. Even though, if you were born in May or August, you would be getting something awesome.

For instance:
Person 1, born in May
Birthday present from friend:



Holy Moly! A new blender!











Christmas present from same friend



STAR TREK!!!!!!!!!!!!












An awesome gifting experience.




Now, compare:
Person 2, born shortly before Christmas
Birthday present from friend:



An record player! Awesome!!











Christmas present from same friend:


Orange peel. Huh. Thanks.










Friend: I'm sorry man, I just didn't know what else to get you and plus I'm strapped for cash cuz I had to by Star Trek for my other friend and I didn't have much time because I had to get to my sister's recital.

While I understand the friend's predicament, I would challenge him to plan ahead next time.

In the end, it really isn't that big a deal. As I've gotten older, I have learned that it's less about the gifts you get and more about the time you get to spend with friends (the trick is to spend the time with friends in bars and then they buy you drinks for your birthday, which are TOTALLY acceptable presents).

I would say, however, as my final thought on the subject; friends, if you're born in a non-December month, remember that your December-born friends like birthday love and Christmas love (separately) as much as you do, so gift accordingly.